Erotic Porridge
by elanev91
Summary: Euphemia Potter thinks her doctor needs to go on a date with her son. This story is so named because I saw it somewhere, could not stop laughing, and my best friend professor-riddikulus hates it so much that I just had to. This story has nothing, literally nothing, to do with porridge. (I really should give my stories better names) - Muggle AU
1. Chapter 1

**A short, random piece in honour of the woman who tried to set me up with her son today. He was cute, though, so…**

 **This story is so named because I saw it somewhere, could not stop laughing, and professor-riddikulus hates it so much that I just had to. This story has nothing, literally nothing, to do with porridge.**

 **Disclaimer: Not mine**

* * *

Lily Evans loved, bloody loved, being a doctor. Sure, the hours were shit, the patients could be right fucking annoying, the NHS never had enough fucking money, but at the end of the day, she loved taking care of her patients.

That feeling, though, is sometimes (usually) steamrolled by the stress that hits her the moment she walks into the door of her surgery at 630, a hour and a half before it opens, because she still has paperwork to finish from the night before, emails and phone calls to reply to, a schedule to check, and doublecheck, and follow-up calls to make for patients that she can't book in to see her in person.

She logged into the computer behind the desk at reception, knowing full well that Frank would kick her fucking arse if he came in and saw her at his computer again, to check who she was seeing today. _Ugh fuck Mr Johnson tomorrow?! Okay, no Lily, stick to today. We'll worry about tomorrow tomorrow..._

She's booked solid, as always, _and fuck, Frank leaves early today,_ but she saw a name towards the bottom of her schedule that made her break into a huge, relieved smile. _Euphemia Potter - 1600_

Euphemia Potter was, without a doubt, Lily's favourite patient.

She was an older woman with a bad heart and the maddest grey hair you'd ever seen. She strolled into the surgery twenty minutes before every appointment, chatted with Frank, joked with the patients in the waiting area, and was the sweetest, sharpest person Lily had ever had the pleasure of treating. _If she would start taking her bloody heart medicine, this whole situation would be perfect._

Euphemia had told her at their last appointment a few months ago that her son, James, was always on her about the medicine too, "He never stops fussing! Ever since Fleamont died he's been very worked up about my medication."

Lily reminded her that she _should_ be taking her medicine, that her son had every right to worry, that he was probably just concerned for her and her health, especially after losing his father. Euphemia had waved it off, but not unkindly, "I'm getting old, dear. James is going to have to come to terms with the fact that I haven't got long left on this earth."

Lily reminded her that she would have a while longer if she took her medicine as prescribed - Euphemia just laughed, complimented her on slipping that message in one last time.

"You know," she'd said, as she gathered her coat and bag off the chair at the end of that appointment, "you should meet my son, James. I think you'd like him. And you're just his type." Lily had laughed, but her cheeks flushed in spite of herself, "Mrs Potter, I don't think it would be appropriate for me to date a relative of one of my patients."

Euphemia had laughed brightly, and Lily couldn't help but join her when she was laughing like that, "Who said anything about _dating_ , Dr Evans?" She winked. _Fucking winked._

Lily sputtered "Mrs Potter, I…"

Euphemia just laughed louder, "I'm just joking, love. You and my Jamesie would get married if you two ever met."

Lily didn't know what to say to that, so she just smiled and booked Euphemia in for a follow up appointment.

Lily logged out of Frank's computer and walked to the back of the building towards her office. She tossed her coat up onto the coat rack beside the door, set the electric kettle on, and took a few minutes to straighten up her office. She never had patients in here, was rarely even in here herself, but somehow her office always looked like a small tornado had blown through.

She finished tidying, made herself a cuppa, and sat down to flip through a few recent medical journals she hadn't had time to actually read yet. She was about halfway through an article about heart failure and community acquired pneumonia when her office door banged open. She jumped, sloshed tea all down her front, and heard laughter from the doorway, "Bleeding hell, Evans, someone is jumpy this morning."

"Piss off, McKinnon. I was in the middle of an article and you scared the shit out of me!"

Marlene rolled her eyes, walked over to the chairs opposite Lily's desk and sat down. "So, who've you got today?"

"Euphemia Potter is coming in, actually!" Lily grabbed a handkerchief out of her desk and started patting tea out of her trousers, "Oh fuck, these are ruined. I'll have to get another set out of the scrub machine."

Marlene didn't look sorry in the least, "Ugh, lucky. I have that fucking Zabini kid again." Lily groaned, "He the one that broke his leg playing football and asked if you were _really_ the doctor?"

Marlene leaned over and clicked Lily's electric kettle on, "The very same." She got up and grabbed another mug off Lily's filing cabinet and tossed a tea bag in.

Lily sighed, "Well, if it makes you feel better, I have Mr Johnson scheduled for tomorrow."

Marlene burst out laughing, "The guy who randomly pulled out his balls last time?!"

Lily groaned and took a sip of her tea, "Yes."

By the time she gets to her last appointment of the day, Lily is usually bloody well exhausted. Today isn't really an exception, but knowing that her last appointment is the best patient in the world makes the rest of her day bearable. She set a shattered arm, referred someone out to a specialist, talked with a few people about some random problems, and she's damn near crawling under her desk to take a nap when she heard a bright laugh from the waiting area.

"I'd recognise _that_ laugh anywhere," Lily said, as she walked out of the office area and out into the waiting room. Euphemia is standing at the desk with Frank, as usual, and she turns to look at Lily when she walks in, but there's also an obscenely handsome man standing next to her at reception and Lily nearly stumbles into Frank's desk in shock.

Very aware that she's staring (and that Euphemia is now smirking at her), Lily flicks her eyes back to Euphemia, "How are you feeling today, Mrs Potter?"

"Oh," Euphemia waved her hand, "I'm fine, dear."

"MUM!" the black haired man at reception fisted his hand in his hair and rounded on, apparently, his mum, "You said you weren't feeling well _at all_ this morning! Don't lie to your doctor, mum, christ!"

 _Euphemia is his… oh fuck -_

Euphemia smiled, "I didn't lie to Dr Evans, James, I lied to _you."_ and 'James' seemed to know well enough, now, what was up - "Mum." He fisted his hand in his hair again, clearly frustrated, and shot an exasperated look at Lily, "I'm sorry, she's…"

Lily laughed, but flushed as the pieces clicked together in her head, "Dedicated?"

James grinned and laughed, a bit relieved, "Yes. Exactly."

Euphemia was smiling winningly now and Lily took a deep breath, "Is this your son that we were chatting about last time?"

Euphemia wrapped her arm around James' waist and he smiled down at her, a bit exasperated because she'd clearly plotted against him, but it's still loving and sweet ( _fuck fuck fuck_ ), dropped his arm over her shoulder, "The very same. I told you he was handsome, Dr Evans."

James flushed, his hand was in his hair again, "Mum, bloody hell."

Lily laughed, "Don't worry, James, I've heard this all before." She winked and James flushed a deeper red, "I'm sorry she's _pestering you_ ," James looked pointedly down at his mother but she seemed utterly indifferent, "I'm sure you're busy enough that you don't have to worry about people begging you to date their sons."

 _Well normally it never works out this well, bloody fucking hell._

Lily just smiled, "It's no trouble, Mr Potter - "

"James. You can call me James, Dr Evans." His cheeks are a bit red, but his eyes are trained on hers and it feels like a cage of butterflies was set loose in her stomach.

Lily chuckled, "Well, it's no trouble, James. Now," she turned to Euphemia, "would you like James to come back with us or do you want him to sit out here while we chat?"

Euphemia looked to James, "Do you want to hear about my heart or do you want to sit out here and tweet at Sirius or something?" She waved her hands in the air in what, Lily assumed, was supposed to be a representation of tweeting.

"Mum," James laughed, rolled his eyes, "I can _text_ Sirius whenever I like. You drug me all the way down here on false pretences, I'm going to hear what the doctor has to say about your heart."

Euphemia rolled her eyes in a way that was scarily similar to her son's and looked at Lily, "See, I told you he fusses."

They walked back to patient room A together and Euphemia chatted animatedly with James while Lily took her stats and vitals.

"Oh Dr Evans, you're looking so stunning by the way," Euphemia said, winking overtly at Lily while Lily took her blood pressure. Lily laughed, "Why, thank you Mrs Potter. I spilled tea all over myself this morning and I have always said that's a surefire way to make yourself look more attractive."

She winked impishly at James and he laughed, raised his eyebrows at his mother, "Mum, I know what you're doing."

Lily took the blood pressure cuff off and scribbled the numbers down onto her chart, "And what am I doing, James?"

Lily looked up just in time to see James rolling his eyes, "Mum, come on."

Euphemia just smiled innocently at him and James snorted, "I'm sure Dr Evans has no interest in being harassed by an old woman while she's trying to work."

Lily opened her mouth before she thought better of it, "Normally, I would agree with you, James -"

She realised what she'd said, shut her mouth, and flipped to the back of Euphemia's chart to re-read her notes from the last appointment, but it's too late. Euphemia is smirking at her and Lily's cheeks are blood red. She sneaks a peak at James as she closes up her file - he's smirking, too. _Fuck. Why is he so bleeding attractive?!_

Lily stuffed her pen back into the pocket of her doctor's coat and listened to Euphemia's lungs, thankful for the excuse to remain silent for a few minutes and get a grip on herself. _You cannot date Euphemia Potter's son. She is your patient. It does not matter that he is ridiculously insanely absurdly attractive. Patient's relative. No. Ethics… or something._

"Well," Lily said, wrapping her stethoscope back around her neck, "your vitals are all good, Mrs Potter. Have you been taking your medication?"

Euphemia smiled at James, "He's been making sure I take it on time every day." James grinned at his mum, "I'm just glad you've stopped fighting me on it, honestly."

"Well, that's good news," Lily said, smiling at them both, "I'm glad someone finally got you to see sense, Mrs Potter." Lily cocked an amused eyebrow at Euphemia and she laughed, swatted Lily's arm, "Well, how do you say no to that face Dr Evans?"

 _I wouldn't mind saying_ _ **yes**_ _to that face. Fuck. Stop it._

They chatted about Euphemia's diet and exercise regimen, Lily drew a few tubes of blood for some tests, and, after a few reminders to continue taking her medication regularly, Euphemia and James were grabbing their coats and Lily was walking them back into the now empty waiting area.

"Make sure you stay bundled up in this cold, Mrs Potter," Lily said, "and make sure that you're doing your best to stay away from sick people - I was just reading this morning in the BMJ about how pneumonia increases your risk for heart failure."

Euphemia patted Lily's arm, "You're too good to me, Dr Evans." Lily grinned, "I'm just doing my job, Mrs Potter."

Euphemia turned to her son, "James, I'm going to go sit in the car. Can you book in my next appointment?"

James was glaring daggers at her, but Euphemia maintained a steady, innocent face, and James sighed, "Alright, Mum," he handed her the keys, "Here, start it up so you don't get cold."

Euphemia walked out of the waiting area and Lily cleared her throat before walking around the reception desk and sitting down at Frank's computer. "So, I don't need to see Mrs Potter again for six months - do you know what her schedule looks like in August?"

James chuckled, "She's just trying to see if she can embarrass us as much as humanly possible, isn't she." James ran his hand through his hair again and Lily smiled, "I think you might be right."

James looked at her for a few seconds, and she could feel her heart picking up speed in her chest before he cleared his throat, "As for August though… I mean, Mum doesn't work anymore, so she's free whenever, really."

Lily nodded, pulled her eyes away from his and scrolled through the schedule. "Does… the 8th of August at 4pm work? I quite like having your mum to look forward to at the end of my day." She looked up from James and grinned. He chuckled, "At least one of us enjoys her antics, bloody hell."

His hand is in his hair again.

 _This is such a bizarre thing to be turned on by. Get a grip on yourself you fucking fool._

Lily booked the appointment and took a moment filling out an appointment card. She handed it to James and he tipped his head at her, "Thanks."

He turned on his heel to walk out the door and a sense of panic, fucking panic, kicks in in her chest and before she thinks better of it, before she remembers 'ethics,' she grabs another card and scribbles her mobile number on it. "Wait!"

James stopped, immediately, in the middle of the waiting area and spun around. _Yes. This is the right choice. He's too fucking hot what even are ethics_ _anyway_

She walked around the reception desk and handed James the second card, letting her fingers brush against his (doing her best to ignore the electricity now zipping through her veins because it really wants her to just jump him right there and that is definitely not ethical and surely there is a line about that in something she's signed at some point). James looked at the card and then looked at Lily, cocking his eyebrow, "Is this your mobile number?"

Lily smiled a cheeky grin, "Thought you might need it if you're going to ask me out to dinner."

She's acting, pretending to be more confident than she feels because Lily's heart is nearly hammering out of her chest, and when James grins at her, it somehow picks up speed, thrumming so hard against her ribs that she's pretty sure it's going to explode. "Brilliant point, Dr Evans."

Lily grinned, "When you call me tonight to ask me out to dinner, call me Lily."

James laughed, "Will do."

James pocketed the card and smiled at her one last time, before turning and walking out of the waiting area. Lily really, really hoped he didn't look back, because he would have seen her dancing around reception like a madman.


	2. 2Erotic 2Porridge

**I finally got around to writing the sequel some of you asked for in a way that none of you requested. You're welcome xx**

 **I'm stupidly proud of this chapter title by the way - go on, tell me how much you hate it in the comments.**

* * *

August was hotter than Lily could stand.

It had been pushing 30 for the past few days, and she was _so bloody over it_ \- their surgery had aircon, thank god, but her flat didn't, so she'd taken to spending more time at work, at James', at literally any place in London that had aircon just to keep from sweating to death. Last night, James had picked her up from work (much to the delight of Frank and Marlene, bastards) and though she was beyond thrilled to spend the night in his temperature controlled flat, they still managed to work up a sweat.

She strolled into the surgery a bit later than usual that next morning, a cheeky 730 that made Frank shoot her an amused look. Lily just laughed, "Fuck off, Frank."

He grinned, "Have a nice night, Lily?"

She held up her fingers at him as she walked back through the doors towards her office, but she knew he saw her smirking. She was about halfway through the corridor when she noticed that her office door was open. "Fuck," she swore under her breath, _probably forgot to lock it again, I'm surprised Frank didn't scream at me about it._ When she got there, though, she noticed Marlene sitting sideways in the chair across from her desk, legs kicked casually over the arm, two cups of tea in hand. Lily stopped in the doorframe, "How the fuck did you get in here? My door was locked." _Probably._

Marlene shrugged, "I had Frank give me a copy of your key. Here," she reached out to hand Lily a mug, "Just made this."

"Oh, thanks," Lily took the tea from Marlene's hand as she walked over to her desk, took a sip, sat down in her desk chair, "So Frank just let you come into my office?"

Marlene rolled her eyes, "He knows I'm not going to come in here and steal your bloody files. Relax." She took another sip of her tea, raised an eyebrow, "You're late this morning, by the way."

Lily clicked her computer on and took another sip of her tea, "Late night."

She looked at Marlene over the rim of her mug, the smile on her lips making it difficult for her to take another sip of her tea. Marlene groaned, "I am so envious of you, I almost hate myself for it."

Lily snorted, "Almost being the operative word."

Marlene grinned, "Well, how could I hate myself when I'm this fucking amazing?" She gestured down at herself with one hand and Lily threw a pen at her head.

"I'm sure you'll find someone soon," Lily said as she opened the schedule, "Assuming that's what you want."

"I'd rather just get laid more consistently, honestly," Marlene said, throwing back the rest of her tea, "That Dirk bloke from a few months ago was alright. I really liked Dorcas, but I haven't spoken to her in months…"

Marlene trailed off and Lily looked up at her with a small smile, "You seemed to really like her though… we _still_ talk about her. Why don't you text her or something?"

Marlene rolled her eyes, "Just because _you_ have a steady fuck doesn't mean we're all going to find one."

Lily shook her head, chuckled, "Ever the charmer, McKinnon."

Marlene smirked, but Lily could tell that Marlene was thinking about it from the way she was fiddling with the mobile in her jacket pocket. Marlene was quiet for a minute before she clapped her hands together, "Alright, who've we got today, Evans?"

Lily tipped the rest of her tea into her mouth and set the mug on the desk, scrolled through the schedule, "I've got… fucking hell, that Malfoy kid."

Marlene snorted, "Sucks to be you, who've I got?"

Lily scrolled through Marlene's calendar, "No one too - oh _shit_ , you have that Rookwood bloke."

"Oh fuck," Marlene groaned, let her head fall dramatically over the arm of her chair, "I fucking _hate_ him."

"Was he the UKIP guy?"

Marlene sighed, "The UKIP guy. He's the one that got into that shouting match with that patient last year, remember?"

Lily nodded, "Ohhh yeah. I'm surprised they're letting him come back, to be honest."

Marlene shrugged, "Maybe they're hoping he's gotten better in the past year? Personally, I keep hoping that his shitty heart gives out, but _I took an oath._ "

Lily snorted, "I'm sorry your oath was so inconvenient."

Marlene held her fingers up at Lily, who laughed, "You know it's just arseholes like these that I kind of resent treating."

Lily nodded, "No, I get you. How many patients have I grumbled to you about over the years?"

Marlene grinned, "See, this is why I love you, Evans. I can say completely horrid shit to you, and you keep on loving me."

Lily laughed, "Well, naturally. You're so wonderful, McKinnon, how could I not?"

Marlene snorted, pushed herself to her feet, "You're right, there, Evans."

Lily went about her day as usual, batting about jokes with Marlene when she met her in the corridors between patients, setting bones, treating insect bites and rashes (the joys of summer), referring people out to specialists. By the time 4pm rolled around, Lily was right bloody exhausted (as always) - she'd just pushed the Malfoys out of her office (the father was, somehow, even more annoying than the son), and she needed a patient that wasn't going to try her fucking nerves (or the strongest gin and tonic money could buy, she would accept either).

When she heard the loud, booming laughter echoing from the waiting area just before four, she practically sprinted out of her office.

Euphemia was standing at the counter, as always, chattering away with Frank. Lily had expected her to be alone, but James, surprisingly, was standing behind her, a broad grin on his face as he joked with Frank about something Lily hadn't heard.

"Good afternoon, Mrs Potter!"

Euphemia turned when Lily called, broke out into a broad smile that warmed Lily's heart. Lily pulled her into a quick hug, held her at arm's length for a moment before she glanced at James, raised an eyebrow. He just shrugged - she wasn't sure why he was back with Euphemia today, but she certainly didn't hate seeing him again.

Lily grinned at them both, "Alright, you two, follow me," Lily turned on her heel and started leading them back towards the patient rooms.

"Lily, dear," Euphemia fell into step beside Lily, "you can just call me Euphemia. You've seen me outside of this office every week for the past few months _and_ seen my son in, I'm sure, very colourful states of undress more often than I care to think about."

Her eyes flicked briefly over to James. _Damn right I have._

James met her gaze for a moment, but his face went brilliant pink and he settled for chastising Euphemia instead, "MUM!"

"Though," Euphemia ignored him, glanced at Lily as she walked past her into the exam room, her eyes sparkling with mischief in a way that reminded Lily forcefully of James, "maybe I'll get an accidental grandchild out of it one of these days."

James looked like he had just about died, " _MUM,_ bloody hell!"

Lily grinned broadly at Euphemia and did her best to suppress the laughter threatening to burst out of her as she pulled the door shut behind them, "All the same, Mrs Potter. When I'm seeing you as your doctor, we use surnames. My office, my rules."

She shot a quick glance at James, her eyes flicking over him appreciatively before she met his gaze and smiled warmly, "Hello, by the way, Mr Potter." _You fit fucking bastard._

James' eyes burned into hers (all embarrassment gone, now, from his features), but he smiled just as warmly, as politely as she had, "Hello, Dr Evans."

He licked his bottom lip and she tried, desperately, to stop thinking about what she could do to him on the examination table, about all the ways he could - _His mother is in the room you sick fuck, get it together._

Euphemia snorted (she never was as oblivious as they might have liked her to be), "You two are insufferable."

"Well," Lily smirked at James before turning back to his mother, pulled her stethoscope off her neck, "unfortunately you'll have to put up with us if you want that accidental grandchild."

James' face went beet red again, he fisted a nervous hand into his hair ( _that will never stop being a turn on will it_ ), and Euphemia and Lily both laughed. James sighed, "I hate you both."

James breathed another sigh of annoyance when they both said, "You don't."

She took Euphemia's vitals, did the usual badgering about her medication, reminded her that if she was going to insist on tending her garden in this heat, she better be taking breaks.

"I'm going to go sometime," Euphemia said, sighing dramatically, "I might as well do it in my garden."

James shot her a stern look, "Mum, are you really trying to have a heart attack because you need to get your kale into the ground?"

Euphemia shook her head, "I'm planting cauliflower this year. Think of the delicious cauliflower curry we could make."

James groaned, "Christ, Mum, you know what I mean."

Euphemia sighed, "You have _one_ heart attack and all of a sudden everyone thinks you're fragile."

James fisted a hand into his hair, " _Mum_."

Euphemia put her hand on James' arm, "I know you worry, James, but I'm not going to live forever."

Lily felt like she was intruding, so she tried desperately to bury herself into Euphemia's chart on the other side of the room. _I should have left or something, given them a moment, but now I've been standing here forever and it's too fucking late for that now._

James didn't say anything for a long moment (Lily distracted herself by listing off all the symptoms for the rarest diseases she could think of) before he finally said, "I know, Mum, but if you could _please_ take your health a bit more seriously…"

Lily heard Euphemia pat James' arm, "Alright, love," Euphemia turned to Lily, "You can stop hiding in the corner, Dr Evans."

Lily cleared her throat, "I wasn't hiding?"

Euphemia just laughed, "Alright, dear."

Lily sighed, "James is right, Mrs Potter. All I ask is that you save your gardening for the evening hours _or_ that you take a break every thirty minutes or so. It's been pushing 30 recently and it's not good for your heart to be under that kind of stress."

"I suppose I could do that," Euphemia said, reaching out and patting Lily's hand, too. Lily grinned, "Thank you. Now," she turned to grab Euphemia's chart from the counter, lifted her tone to drag them back up the emotional cliff they'd fallen off of, "your lab results from February were great, so if these are equally good or better, I'll write you up for yearly visits instead of biannual, does that sound good?"

Euphemia beamed at Lily, nodded, slid off the examination table, "Sounds excellent. No offence Dr Evans, but I much prefer seeing you over dinner."

Lily laughed, turned her gaze to James for a moment, "I prefer that as well."

Euphemia noticed Lily's diverted attention and smiled softly, "James, you'll book my appointment then?"

She grabbed her handbag off the chair by the door and pulled it open, grinning at both of them. James' hand jumped to his hair, "Y-yeah, Mum, I'll book you in."

"Excellent," she said, and she held her hand out for the keys to James' car, "I'll just go put the aircon on, then?"

James handed her the keys, and she walked as quickly as she could from the room. James sighed, turned to Lily as they began making their way back to reception, "Are all your patients as insufferable as my mother?"

Lily laughed, bumped his hip with hers, "I told you, she's my favourite patient."

James brushed his hand against hers ( _do not take that hand and drag him into your office_ ), "I feel bad for you, then."

Lily snorted, "You would understand if you met some of my other patients."

When they got back out to reception, it was empty except for Frank, who smiled knowingly at them. Lily rolled her eyes (for once she was actually innocent), "Mr Potter needs to book in Mrs Potter for an annual."

Frank raised an eyebrow at James, and James just shrugged, "Her office, her rules."

Frank shook his head, amused, "You two are dumb as hell."

Lily smirked, "Just because _some_ of us are unable to separate work and personal life - "

Frank grinned, "I have no regrets about the store cupboard, Evans."

Lily held her fingers up at him, and, ignoring Frank's boisterous laughter, turned to James, "I've got some reports to catch up on, but I'll bring home some take away or something? If you're still alright with me staying at yours, that is."

James nodded, "Of course I am. Sounds good, love." He leaned over, kissed her softly on the lips, and it took a lot more willpower than she anticipated to keep from burying her hands in his hair and dragging him back into her office. He smiled warmly at her as he pulled away, and she beamed before turning on her heel and striding back towards her office.

 _Fucking him in my office would be wrong… right? Ugh yes, ethics, ethics, ethics, ethics..._

She popped the kettle on as soon as she got back into her office, sent James a quick text to let him know that she was putting her mobile on airplane mode, and heaved the pile of long neglected reports off the chair in the corner. It had been _at least_ a month since she'd sat down to actually do her paperwork, and, _fuck,_ now she was seriously going to pay. A few hours later, she'd made her way through the backlog, and was just beginning the reports from that week, where there was a knock on her office door. She didn't bother looking up, assumed Marlene was there to tell her that she was headed home for the night (and probably torture her a bit in the process), "What, McKinnon?"

"Oh, I'm Marlene now?"

Lily didn't expect the deep voice that came from the doorway, and she started, fumbled the pen in her hand. When she looked up at him, he had a highly amused look on his face. She sighed, annoyed, "Fuck you, Potter, _christ_ you scared me."

James grinned, "Sorry, Evans."

She scoffed, "No you're not."

He chuckled, "You're right, I'm not," she huffed as he walked into her office, "But I brought dinner, so hopefully you forgive me?"

He set a giant Nando's bag on her desk and she groaned happily (all irritation forgotten), jumped to her feet, and began rifling through the bag, "Oh my god, I fucking love you."

James bit the corner of his lip, so slightly she barely noticed it, before he grinned, "Well, it was already seven, I was starving, and I figured you might be, too. And I know you have a soft spot for that rice."

He raised his eyebrow as though to prove a point (she _was_ in the process of ripping open the rice container like she'd never seen food before) and she rolled her eyes, grabbed a fork from the bottom of the bag, "Fuck off, I'm starving. I haven't eaten since lunch."

James just grinned, held his hands up a bit, "I didn't say _anything,_ Evans."

She pointed her fork at him, "You were going to." James sat down in the chair on the other side of her desk, while she opened the chicken container, groaned again, and James' smile grew.

"So, how was the rest of your day," James said through a mouthful of food. Lily shrugged, scooped another bite of rice into her mouth, "Same as always. Lots of rashes, broken bones, referrals… _oh my god,_ I had this annoying fucking kid today, too."

"Oh?" James popped another bite of chicken into his mouth.

Lily groaned, "He's the _worst._ The actual fucking worst. He's rude the whole time he's here, acts like an entitled bastard, and," she grabbed a bite of chicken off the centre tray, " _and_ he made some crack about my red hair and said I must be 'of lesser stock'. If our kids are like that I _swear_ I'll kill them."

She took another bite of chicken and it took her a moment to figure out that James had frozen across from her. She eyed him nervously, third bite of chicken halfway to her mouth, "What?"

"Our kids?"

Lily's face flushed, "Oh, uh… I mean, I-I wasn't really thinking about it when I said it, but, I mean, you know, I'm not. Uh. Opposed?"

James was studying her intently ( _fuck fuck fuck_ ) and of course, of _course_ she couldn't just keep her mouth shut.

"I mean, you know, _g-generally_. Like the idea of them, kids, is, u-uh… you know...nice. I-I don't think _we_ ," she gestured her hand frantically between them, "necessarily need - but uh, I wouldn't - "

James was smirking at her, and Lily huffed, stuffed her chicken into her mouth to stop herself talking. James set his fork down, raised an eyebrow, "So what do you think our kids will be like?"

Lily flushed a violent red, "Don't start taking the mick - "

"I'm not."

He was looking at her intently now, and her heart started hammering, her breathing picked up because _he can't be serious right now, he can't actually mean what it seems like he means_ \- "So…" she set her fork down, hoped he understood where she was going without her actually having to say all the words.

He took a deep breath, "Yeah." _Holy. Fucking. Shit._

"Huh." _Really fucking clever, Evans, you fucking idiot._

They didn't say anything, just sat, stared at one another for a few moments before James laughed, stuffed a hand in his hair, "I don't think we could be more English right now if we tried."

Lily grinned, tension flooding out of her, "Who knew we were so repressed?" _Good, we're back to humour. I can do this._

James grinned, "I'm more nervous than repressed, honestly. But it comes to the same thing." _Alright, shit, maybe not._

Lily grabbed her fork, turned it around in her hand, "Why are you nervous?"

James just looked steadily back at her, "I'm trying to figure out how to tell you that I love you."

It felt like all the gears in her brain had come to an abrupt stop. She'd known he felt this way, in some part of her mind, but hearing him say it, seeing the look in his eyes as they locked onto hers, still made her heart falter in her chest. She fumbled the fork onto the table, swore under her breath, and looked down for a moment, took a breath to steady herself. Her breath was sharper than she'd anticipated, and she practically felt James stiffen from across the table, but she _needed_ a bloody minute because she had a million things to say and no words to say them with, and _damn it_ he was just going to have to wait.

When she returned her eyes back to his a moment later, he was smiling softly, but a bit hesitantly at her, and she knew how nerve wracking her moments of silence must have been, how hard his heart must be hammering in his chest. She smiled as broadly as she could manage, her cheeks straining with the effort of expressing just how fucking happy she was. She hadn't come up with words because the right words didn't seem to exist - she didn't know how to tell him all the things she felt in her chest when he looked at her, all the stupid, mad things her mind dreamed up as they walked through London together, as she buried her face in his neck, his chest, the crook of his arm, didn't know how to explain the fact that he still gave her fucking heart palpitations, that it was harder to breathe when he looked at her, that she loved every single thing about him, even the things she hated, even the things that made her want to smack him. There were too many things, too many feelings, and she wanted to say them all but she didn't know how and her mind had started trying to spiral itself out of control when she finally decided _fuck it_ and just looked back up at him again -

"I love you, too. You have no fucking idea how much."


End file.
